we really sit around and eat bon bons, too

Overheard at the park today (Lupe, Shelly, and Sue instead of their real names, although why I’m protecting gossiping trollops such as these I don’t know!):

Shelly: “Oh, so I totally think [Young Mom X] is knocked up.”

Sue: “Did she say something to you?”

Shelly: “Oh no. I saw her at the Breastfeeding Potluck yesterday and I got that vibe.”


Lupe: “Well, I don’t know her very well, so…”

Shelly [laughing]: “Oh, that doesn’t stop me from accusing someone!”

Lupe: “… well I just mean I don’t know enough about her body type to compare.”

Shelly: “Oh, it isn’t about a body changes. It’s how a woman looks when she’s first pregnant…”

Sue: “- like she’s keeping a secret?”

Shelly: “… no, like she looks like shit, or at least compared to the last time you saw her. It’s when these women get all cute and sassy. Then you know her man is about to bring her low by knocking her up!”

[laughter – a bit pained]

Shelly: “I’m not kidding! Last Mother’s Day [Woman B] was talking about how good her life was and she was all trim-looking and cute and happy and I thought to myself, ‘She’s going to get pregnant if she doesn’t watch it!'”

Lupe turns to Shelly: “So me and [Husband] were talking about this last night… what do you think about me?”

Shelly: “I think you’re looking pretty cute and put together and you’d better watch out.”

Comments are closed.