Letter To Anonymous, #003

Dear Uptown Dog Owner,

You have been a thorn in my side for a few years now, but until this morning I have given you the benefit of the doubt and suspended my wrath, feeling higher-minded than to hate on someone for something so minor. However, today I am ready to make a teensy request on behalf of myself, my family, and my friends:

Quit leaving your dog’s shit in public areas.

It boggles my mind that you don’t pick up your dog’s shit – which to many animal-loving groups is just common sense. Are you telling yourself you don’t need to monitor or dispose of your dog’s shit because we are in the Pacific Northwest and the rain simply whisks it away in seconds? First of all, here in PT we get about 19″ a year, hardly enough to wash your dogs’ leavings out of our courtyards and public trails in a speedy manner. Secondly, it seems only common courtesy that in an area for public recreation – like, oh, say the toddler park where this morning my unsuspecting daughter feel prey to a mountainous pile of steaming foulness – you would assume that perhaps some foot traffic might hit that park on the same day or shortly thereafter the dog squatted. Clean it up. Duh.

I have long accepted the duty of motherhood in watching where my children walk and my stroller rolls. My eyes watch like a hawk for cracks in the sidewalk, piles of shit and trash, and dirty heroin kits (so far, rarely seen in this town). But I’d appreciate you doing your part for public hygiene and enjoyment (I’m skipping directly over the disease potential, landscaping issues, water pollution factor, and bad reputation you are providing more responsible dog owners with).

You’re on notice. If I see your dog in the act and see you unaware (or feigning lack of awareness) I will march up to you with one of my plastic bags (kept at all times for my child’s cloth diaper), and perhaps a little educational pamphlet if you are too dumb or inexperienced to have figured this out for yourself.

Thanks, and on behalf of those who don’t like stepping in your dog’s shit, or cleaning it off their children,


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