i have a good story

I’ve been wanting a (small) chest freezer. This is in part because I have discovered using my freezer increases the quality and ease of cooking. For instance, it is only a slight amount more effort to prepare a large batch of food and freeze some than making a normal sized batch. This is also because I watched a movie called The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio and it has stayed with me in so very many ways.

So a while back my family took a night drive to a house to look at one that was offered for free. I had misgivings about the transaction which were soon validated. First, it was on a beautiful, lonely, and desolate stretch of road. And it was the creepiest and saddest house I’ve ever been in (think Blair Witch crossed with Silence of the Lambs and you’re close). Mortified plywood porch and I thought I was going to fall through it. Our flashlight bounces off mildewed religious artifacts and jars of old preserves cloudy and abandoned on the dirty floors. I’m thinking how sad it is someone’s life lived out here and now the house lay in a pile of waste and junk. So out in the garage we find the freezer. The top is rusty but, I’m still hopeful. I make a joke to Ralph about a body being inside and just as Ralph opens it I realize there very well may be meat in there (without power to preserve it) and – bam! sure enough, inches of absolute filth and rotted split-open turkey carcass (I hope) before I tell Ralph to drop the lid! Because he’s still sitting there kind of looking at the contents. A split-second later and I am beset with the worst smell ever. I stagger outside and pull my shirt up over my nose but it isn’t until I get home and shower that the smell finally leaves me. It was funny actually, the second I saw the violent shade of corrupted flesh I thought, “I immediately regret this decision!”

It was a beautiful drive. We also stopped at the 7-11 and got candy first. That’s a rare choice for the Hogabooms. It’s funny, we treat ourselves to lots of nice things. But candy and late-night adventures we need to do more often.

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