don’t set me free / I’m as helpless as I can be / gimmie some good ol’ lobotamy


Today’s medical procedure went well. I went in at 10 AM and was back home by 2 PM. I am still under the influence of drugs in that though I feel well-rested and relatively clear, I am also tired and don’t feel capable of nor interested in jumping up and doing the dishes or sewing or walking. There is also some physical pain involved, so I figure I might as well write.

I might admit here I was very frightened. There were two distinct parts to my fear: that of being forcibly put to sleep and administered Versed for amnesia (a friend a few days ago helpfully said, “They make you DIE then bring you back to LIFE,“),which was by far my most squicked-out climbing-the-walls terror bit, and the thought of the procedure itself, which reminded me of something you see in alien abduction movies.

I was very scared. The nurses were very kind. The one who put my IV in messed up the first one. She worked very hard to make everything fine and she was very kind to me. That kind of sweetness blows me away, after all it is quite minor to have an IV put in, but her kindness meant a great deal to me.

The squeamish may not want to read this. Besides very minor bruising in both hands (from the IVs) and the faintest ache where they jabbed me in the ass ¬†with an antibiotic shot, my entire bladder/pee area feels like it was scraped gently with a slightly rusty nail, perhaps affixed at the end of some flexible tool for thoroughness. I have never had a urinary tract infection (to my knowledge), but I’m guessing it feels something like this. Besides the constant pain, when I pee it feels akin to an injection of lemon juice through this particular area.

Sorry, I did warn you.

I have to go back to the doctor for more medical stuff but for now, the findings and procedures today were sort of best-case scenario regarding an acute situation, and I’m very grateful.

I am also grateful for the many acts of love, support, encouragement, and practical assistance from friends and family. I hope when I feel better to set my mind to rendering a picture, here in text, of how lovely people can be.

Now I’m getting off the computer to eat some fried chicken my mother brought over. And try to ignore the whole #$@!-pain region, which medication helps with but does not eliminate.

Skin Graft. Smiley Face!

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